


Silence

by ofarrowheadsandpaperclips



Category: The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anxiety Disorder, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Depression, Established Relationship, M/M, Please Don't Hate Me, Protective Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, i know I did the quarantine fic, jaskier is a music teacher, quarantine fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-25
Updated: 2020-05-25
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:08:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24375565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ofarrowheadsandpaperclips/pseuds/ofarrowheadsandpaperclips
Summary: Modern AUJaskier handles quarantine well until he doesn't.Shamelessly projecting myself onto Jaskier during quarantine.
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion
Comments: 15
Kudos: 164





	Silence

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, this idea hit me in the middle of the night and I had to get it out. So here's an angsty fic for you. Thanks Humii for the last minute beta.   
> Any mistakes are mine and you can blame the lack of sleep for the last couple of weeks.

Mid March was always a beautiful time in the city, the sky was starting to have more blue than grey, and the sometimes bitter wind was bringing in warmer temperatures that always made Jaskier fling open the windows to let in the fresh air. He would sit in the living room with the windows wide and play his guitar, composing new songs, sometimes rewriting old ones, as many days as he could. 

It was  on  one such day  when  he was in the middle of a new piece that he heard Geralt open the front door and he called to him “Hello darling! You’re home early!” He heard Geralt shuffling at the entryway for a long while before the door shut. Jaskier set his guitar down and went to investigate. Geralt was wrestling grocery bags and other packages. “Geralt, what are you doing? Do you need help?” He asked, reaching for the large package of toilet paper Geralt tossed to the side. “Darling, what is all this?” 

Geralt dropped the last of the bags and stood up to look at Jaskier. “They’re starting lockdown, we needed supplies.” 

“Geralt, we did not need a 96 pack of toilet paper.” Jaskier laughed. “The lockdown won’t be for the next five years. I don’t think we even needed toilet paper.” 

“You don’t know that.” Geralt said flatly as he carried the bags to the kitchen. Jaskier stared after him, confusion written plainly on his face. 

‘Geralt, it’s only going to be for a couple of weeks and then we will be fine.” He reaches for the bags to start putting the groceries that Geralt had brought home. “Geralt, powdered milk? Are you serious? We don’t even drink regular milk!” Jaskier set down the box of powdered milk with indignation. 

Geralt stared at him. “It’s useful for more than just drinking, Jaskier.”

Jaskier let out a heavy sigh, “Geralt, you’re overreacting. I guarantee that we will be sending this out in the food bank box in a couple of months.” 

Geralt didn’t respond as he shoved a collection of dried beans and rice into their cabinets. 

April arrived with rain and still no end in sight for the lockdown. The number of cases had risen beyond anything they had expected and Jaskier was glad for Geralt’s forethought when he purchased groceries and supplies. It had been almost three weeks and Jaskier was starting to get antsy. 

“Geralt, surely we can go for a walk? Please ? I mean, we have been stuck inside for literally weeks now and I know you would like to go out as well. Plus, we are running low on coffee. You don’t want me to run out of coffee.” Jaskier was laying flat on the floor, a mess of papers surrounding him. Geralt hummed at him but didn’t look up from the book he was reading. Jaskier rolled to his side and looked at his silver haired partner. “Geralt please? Why don’t I just run down to the shop and get what we need. It will be fine, twenty minutes and I will be back.” He moved to stand up.

“No, Jaskier. Make me a list and I will go get it.” Geralt shut his book and rubbed his face with his hand. 

Jaskier whined and crawled over to Geralt on his knees, draping his arms around his partner’s shoulders. “Geralt, I am just as capable  of  going down to the shops to get things.” 

Geralt cupped Jaskier’s face in one hand “It’s not happening Jask, I am not letting you out in this mess. Make a list.” 

Jaskier let out a huge sigh and went limp against Geralt’s chest. “You are literally the worst.” 

Another two weeks went by and Jaskier had been forbidden from reading or listening to the news. Geralt had returned from the shop with enough groceries to last another month as well as a set of face masks that he had hidden from his partner. Even though Jaskier was still doing music lessons via Zoom calls and Facetime, he had not had any physical contact with anyone other than Geralt in nearly six weeks. For someone like the singer, it had been torture, he thrived on physical touch and close conversation. He spent more time out on the fire escape playing his guitar and had even gotten several other musicians in the area to join him on occasion. He had spent an entire afternoon watching the neighbors move furniture around their apartment before Geralt had taken the binoculars. But Jaskier had grown weary of quarantine challenges, lockdown games, and had watched every sappy love story and comedy special on Netflix. But in the final days of April, he had grown morose and snappy. Geralt knew that he had reached his limit and decided to act. 

It was a perfect sunny day without a cloud in the sky when Geralt approached him with the face mask that had bright yellow flowers on the front. Jaskier looked at him like he had just brought him the moon from the sky. 

“Really Geralt?” 

“As long as we maintain social distance and use the masks, it should be fine.” Geralt pulled a plain black mask from his pocket. He ended up with an armful of squealing Jaskier who covered every inch of Geralt’s face with kisses before wriggling out of his embrace to get dressed. 

Twenty minutes later, the pair had on jackets and masks, walking hand in hand from the elevator. 

“Geralt, it’s so beautiful outside today! Oh gosh, I never thought I would miss this street, it’s always looked so bleak before, but now, gods this is so beautiful!” Geralt knew that Jaskier’s face was in a wide grin despite the mask covering it. “Can we go to the park? We could go watch the ducks, oh I should have brought my guitar! Oh I should have, it’s so lovely to play on the grass in the park today. I’m sure everyone would love to hear a song today. Something wonderful and cheery to match the sunshine.” 

Geralt held Jaskier’s hand firmly, keeping him close, but it didn’t stifle the joy radiating off the singer. He nodded when Jaskier would turn to look at him, chattering excitedly. They had planned on going down to get a couple of things from the shop to round out their well stocked pantry and they talked about going to get a coffee from Jaskier’s favorite shop. They had not come across any other people as they walked the block down to their preferred shop. Jaskier had not stopped chattering since they left the building. 

Geralt was well aware of the state of things and had been doing his best to shield Jaskier from the worst of the situation. He had fought the crowds when the lockdown began for groceries and supplies. He had watched the shelves go empty and the crowds dissipate as the quarantine continued. He steeled himself for the grocery store, knowing the chances of it being much better than a few days ago were not high. They walked through the sliding doors and Geralt grabbed a sanitizing wipe before grabbing a cart. He pulled Jaskier close, tilting his chin to catch his gaze. 

“Listen, it’s really important you stay close okay? We have to follow the signs and the posted stuff okay? Don’t touch anything you don’t want to buy, and make sure you’re keeping six feet  away ? Don’t be surprised if it’s pretty empty in here. Last week I went to three different stores to get everything. So just stay close okay?” 

“Geralt, I know the rules, don’t be ridiculous. It will be fine.” Jaskier swept into the store and stopped dead in his tracks. There were lines drawn in the aisle of which direction to walk, you could only enter going one direction, and the place looked like a warzone. Geralt stopped next to him and handed him the hand sanitizer before walking off. Jaskier took it and rubbed his hands together obediently. He straightened his shoulders and followed Geralt through the aisle. As they made their way through the store, Jaskier continued to chatter, attempting to make conversation with anyone who passed him but most people only nodded at him as he said hello. The shelves were relatively well stocked, compared to previous weeks, but they still were missing several key things they were searching for, so they made their way to the front to pay for their purchases. The tall piece of plexiglass blocking the employee from them seemed to startle Jaskier as they stood at the checkout. He hadn’t stopped chattering since they entered the building, although Geralt was hard pressed to pay full attention as he had been keeping him from touching random things and getting too close to people. By the time they made it to the front of the store, Geralt felt like he was corralling an overactive toddler. They paid for their items and placed them in the canvas bags they had brought with them. Geralt had found them useful early on because he could wash them after every use, so they became a staple for his grocery runs. Jaskier tucked his hands in his pockets as they left the store, somewhat subdued from his earlier chatter. They found their way to the bodega Geralt knew had the items he was searching for, and Jaskier fell in behind Geralt rather quietly. He still tried to make conversation as they made their way through the store, but he seemed less intent on getting an answer. He gripped Geralt’s arm like he was nervous about being left behind as his partner gathered the items. An unmasked woman sneezed just down the aisle from them and Jaskier physically jumped when she did. Geralt could tell his anxiety was reaching a dangerous level as they continued through the store. They paid for their few items and excited the store as the woman coughed loudly behind them. Jaskier was practically vibrating beside him as they reached the sidewalk. 

“Would you like to go get coffee now?” Geralt asked as he reached for Jaskier’s hand. 

The singer took it and the bounce returned to his step. “Oh lets do, I’ve been dreaming of their chai tea latte for weeks now.” 

Geralt shook his head. “I brought you one last week.” 

“I know darling, and it was wonderful then, and you were so good to bring it for me, but it’s not the same as going in and getting it.” 

Geralt shifted the bag on his shoulder and let Jaskier drag him down the block to the coffee shop. 

As they approached his favorite haunt, Geralt pulled out his phone to make the order. Jaskier glanced down, confused. “Geralt, what are you doing? We can just go in and order, no reason to do that.” 

The older man shook his head, “no, you have to order on here and then when you get the notification, you can go in and get it. You want the chai tea latte right? Did you want the extra foam?” Geralt tapped buttons, entering their typical order. Jaskier nods, his shoulders slumping slightly. They arrived at the coffee shop just as they got the notification, and Geralt left the grocery bags with Jaskier outside to go collect their drinks. He returned a moment later with two cups and handed one to Jaskier. “I got the little stopper in it so it won’t get cold before we get home.” 

Jaskier gave a half hearted chuckle “Geralt, I’m probably going to finish it before we get home, but thank you, that was sweet of you to think of it.” He reached for the stopper but Geralt laid his hand on Jaskier’s arm.    
“Jask, you can’t drink it without taking your mask off, and you can’t take it off until we get to the apartment.” 

Jaskier looked defeated but after a second, nodded. They gathered up the grocery bags and made their way back home. They passed by the park and Jaskier saw the caution tape and barriers that had been put up by the city, he stopped dead in his tracks to stare at the signs. He turned to look at Geralt who simply shrugged in response. 

“It’s been like that since they started the lockdown. They decided it wasn’t worth the effort to keep it clean and everything.” 

Jaskier seemed to collapse in on himself at that. Geralt swore he saw tears forming in Jaskier’s eyes as they made the final stretch to the apartment. As they approached the front door, Jaskier turned and stared at the street. “It’s never going to be the same again is it?”

Geralt sighed softly “It’s hard to know Jask, come on, we have to get everything wiped down.” He said, reaching for Jaskier’s arm. The singer sighed and turned to follow Geralt inside. 

Jaskier went through the motions of unpacking the groceries, wiping down packages, washing the produce, and putting everything away before they went to take a shower and change clothes. Jaskier hadn’t spoken since they got home and Geralt was watching him closely as they went through the process of showering. Normally, Jaskier would have his hands all over his lover, washing his hair, spreading bubbles across his chest and arms, but Jaskier was strangely docile so Geralt took over washing the both of them. Jaskier leaned into his touch but didn’t press for more so Geralt made quick work of their shower. He dried them both off and led Jaskier to their bedroom. He tossed a hoodie he had worn the night before as well as a pair of shorts to the younger man. Jaskier pulled the hoodie over his head and slipped the shorts on before sitting on the edge of the bed to rub his hair. Geralt pulled on a pair of joggers and walked over to Jaskier to press a kiss to his forehead. Jaskier smiled weakly at him. 

“What sounds good for dinner?” Geralt asked, taking the towel from him. He went into the bathroom to hang up their towels and noted Jaskier had not responded. He poked his head from the bathroom “Lark?” He saw Jaskier curled up on the bed, his face buried in Geralt’s pillow. He ran a hand through his damp hair before returning to the bedroom. He sat down next to Jaskier, rubbing a hand along his leg. 

Jaskier didn’t meet Geralt’s gaze as he clutched the pillow close to his chest. His eyes were glassy and he seemed very far away. Geralt reached a hand towards the man. Jaskier sat up and climbed into Geralt’s lap, tucking his face into the man’s neck and sighed deeply. 

Geralt wrapped his arms around Jaskier, dropping a kiss to his shoulder. “I know it sucks, Lark, but it will be okay. I don’t know when, but eventually, things will be better.” 

Jaskier nodded but didn’t move from Geralt’s firm embrace. The couple didn’t move for a long time. Later, Geralt would notice as he called in their order for delivery that Jaskier hadn’t touched his latte. Geralt was overwhelmed by the silence that echoed through the apartment that evening. Despite the action movie they had settled on filling the room with noise and explosions, Jaskier did not say a single word. Geralt carried the quiet man to bed that night, covering every inch of skin with kisses, but Jaskier remained silent. He was normally an incredibly vocal lover, so Geralt was deeply concerned by the quiet that remained as they made love. Jaskier barely let out a gasp as Geralt entered him, his attention focused solely on Geralt’s lips on his. The older man could feel Jaskier tremble under him as they climaxed together, and if not for the fact he could hear the car alarms down the street, he would be worried his hearing had gone. He held Jaskier close as they drifted off to sleep, mumbling his love in the singer’s ear. He had dark dreams of silence and anguish. 

The next morning was gloomy and wet as Geralt woke. Jaskier had curled up into a fetal position on the other side of the bed some time in the night, his face turned away. Geralt reached over and pulled Jaskier closer to his chest, burying his nose into the singer’s hair. He breathed in the soft, sleepy scent as Jaskier started to stir. 

Geralt pressed a kiss to Jaskier’s hairline ,“Do you need coffee?” Jaskier nodded, pulling the blanket over his shoulder. Geralt gave a short growl. “None of that, come on, it’s late!” He smacked Jaskier’s flank and rolled over. Normally that would elicit at least a squawk from the singer but it didn’t cause so much as a sigh. Geralt shrugged but made his way to the kitchen to make coffee.

For the next few days, Geralt did everything he could to try to get Jaskier to talk to him, to no avail. Jaskier had cancelled all of his lessons for that week, citing that everyone had been working so hard that they deserved a break. He stopped going out on the fire escape to play, content to listen to music on his headphones. He spent most of his time in one of Geralt’s hoodies, the sleeves covering his hands and hood covering most of his face. The first couple of days he played nonsensical notes on his keyboard and scribbled in his notebook but he gave up quickly. He barely ate, staring at the plates Geralt would hand him for a long time before returning them to the kitchen. Geralt tried to give him room to process and exist without having things demanded of him but he was quickly drawing to the end of his patience. 

The fourth night of silence almost brought Geralt to his knees. Jaskier had been in the shower for almost an hour and Geralt was sure the water must be freezing by then. Finally the water turned off and Geralt sat on the bed, waiting for his lover. After a few moments he heard something glass crash to the floor. He stood quickly and opened the bathroom door. He found Jaskier perched on the edge of the bathtub clutching his foot that was dripping blood and a glass bottle shattered on the floor. 

Geralt grimaced at the injury “Easy, stay there, I will go get the broom.” He returned with the broom and dustpan as well as a first aid kit. Geralt handed a towel to Jaskier before making quick work of the cleanup. He threw the shards away and set the broom to the side. Jaskier was still pressing the towel to his foot as Geralt knelt on the floor in front of him. He removed the towel and inspected the cut. It was still bleeding steadily and that worried Geralt as he opened the first aid kit. He handed it to Jaskier as he ripped open an alcohol wipe and pulled out the damp towel. Geralt ignored Jaskier’s pout as he wiped down the bloodied skin and took a closer look at the cut. It was deeper than a normal cut would be but it didn’t require stitches. He pulled out a piece of gauze and pressed it to the wound. Geralt looked up to see Jaskier’s lip trembling slightly. “Hey, it’s fine, doesn’t need stitches, it will be alright in a few days. It will probably be sore for a while though.” he pulled the gauze away and the blood had stopped. “I doubt I will even have to carry you.” 

Jaskier sighed and gave him a weak smile. Geralt placed a couple of butterfly strips on the cut to make sure the edges healed correctly before bandaging the whole foot. He closed up the first aid kit and set it to the side before scooping Jaskier up off the tub into his arms. Jaskier let out a soft squawk but wrapped his arms around Geralt’s neck anyway. The silver haired man carried the singer into the bedroom and placed him gently on the bed. He pulled away long enough to pull off his shirt before sliding into bed to sit in front of his lover. He placed Jaskier’s legs on either side of his hips before reaching up to cup the younger man’s face in his palms. Jaskier rubbed his cheek into Geralt’s palms but he did not make eye contact. 

“Little Lark,” Geralt tipped Jaskier’s chin until he met Geralt’s gaze. The overwhelming sadness that welled up in the singer’s eyes made Geralt’s chest ache. He rubbed his thumbs along Jaskier’s cheeks, “I know things are hard right now and you’ve been handling everything so well. I need you to know that I am here, regardless of how you’re feeling, what you’re thinking, I am not going anywhere. Whatever you need, I am going to be here, and if silence is what you need, as much as I hate it, that’s what we will do. I am not afraid. When you’re ready to talk again, when you’re ready to…” Geralt’s voice cracked slightly before he continued “when you’re ready to sing again, I will be here too but please Jask, please don’t shut me out.” 

Tears were falling freely from Jaskier’s ocean blue eyes as he wriggled his way into Geralt’s lap fully, wrapping his arms around the man’s neck and tucking his face into his neck. Geralt rubbed soft circles down Jaskier’s back, listening to him cry into his shoulder. Without thinking, he started humming a nonsensical tune as he continued to rub his palms across the younger man’s back. Jaskier’s sobs began to quiet and Geralt held him close as he arranged them back against the pillows. He reached to turn out the lamp and then pulled Jaskier close to his chest, still humming as the singer fell asleep.

The next morning Geralt awoke alone, his arm stretched out to Jaskier’s side. The bed was cold to the touch as Geralt rolled over. He sat up, scrubbing a hand over his face. A gentle tune came from the living room but he couldn’t place it. He reached for his t-shirt and pulled it over his head as he made his way to make coffee. Geralt saw Jaskier’s tousled hair on the fire escape and he saw the glint of his guitar in his hands. He waited for a beat as Jaskier’s nimble fingers played a soft tune. 

_ I’ll wait and hope/ your eyes aren’t rivers there to weep/ but a place for crows to rest their feet _

Geralt couldn’t stop himself from walking over to the window where Jaskier perched, a wide grin pasted on his face. The singer turned to look at him and continued the tune. 

_ I’ll wait and hope/ and rest my head at night, content/ knowing where my marbles went _

Geralt closed the gap between them and ran a hand through Jaskier’s soft hair. “You don’t have to stop. It sounds good.” 

Jaskier smiled at him, and Geralt felt as if he was staring at the sun from how it managed to grip his heart. “I know love, I think I might play for a little longer. I have some lessons lined up for later today so I don’t want to miss those.” 

Geralt nodded and kissed his forehead. “I’m going to make some coffee, would you like a cup?” 

“Oh, yes please!” Jaskier said brightly. Geralt nodded and turned to the kitchen. “Geralt?” Jaskier called.

“Yes Lark?” 

“Thank you, for everything.” 

Geralt glanced over his shoulder at the singer. “Anytime Lark.” 

**Author's Note:**

> I promise I haven't forgotten my other story "Witchers of Kaer Morhen"! It's just going through some rewrites and editing still and life keeps getting in the way. I will be updating it as soon as I can. Thanks for reading!


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